F-Y-I:Family Time

Today I am going to talk about what too few “motivational” speakers and “self help” gurus do.

Taking the time to log off Facebook, twitter and instagram and engaging in real life with FRIENDS and FAMILY.

There was a time when I would write my grandmother letters or call her on the phone to speak to her. When  I was 8 or 9. I would ask my dad almost every day “Do you think she got it yet?”

Sure enough as soon as she got it, she would call me up on the phone and we would talk about what I was doing in school and what I wanted for Christmas and when I was coming back to see her.

As I hit the ripe old age of 10, I started to get more excited about school and my friends than I was with "Grandmom”…which brings me to my point .

KEEP YOUR KIDS CONNECTED TO THE FAMILY

Pre-teens and teens are stupid and I was no exception.

My father and the rest of the family made the drive to Harrington, Delaware to visit my grandmother every Mother’s Day. It was the one time I would see all my dad’s family in one place. Amazingly the place we would all stay for Mother’s Day was the house my dad and his 11 brothers and sisters grew up in. I was lucky enough to have met all of his brothers and sisters at least once. Yes, the whole family would convene on what I saw then as a big scary house every Mother’s day. There were literally people sleeping in every room except the kitchen and bath rooms. I also remembering almost wetting myself several times waiting for the bathroom. Fortunately, I also remember playing ball with my cousins, eating pancakes and waffles, I remember that there almost no where in the house that you could be alone. I remember a house jumping with activity from morning to night. I remember all 11 aunts and uncles, their wives and husbands and all my cousins. I remember thinking that every Mother’s day I ever had would be spent in “Grandmom’s” house being bored (cause her TV only got 3 channels period.)

Okay remember when I said teens are stupid? By the time I reached 14 I had enough of Mother’s Day at Grandmom’s. I was into spending my spring Sunday’s playing basket ball and then hanging on the boardwalk looking for girls. So when dad informed me of the travel plans to “Grandmom’s” I was very underwhelmed. In my mind…how many more times did I need see all them aunts, uncles and cousins and Grandmom wouldn’t miss me.

I thank God that my dad understood you only get one chance to be young. I am thankful my dad understood that just because some one is with you right now does not mean that they can not be snatched away in a second of time.. There was some discussion but at the end there was the threat of Dad putting his hands on me if I didn’t get my act together. So because I was stupid but not foolish enough to anger my dad anymore, I made what would turn out to be one of my last trips ever to Grandmom’s.

Looking back, I didn’t just love being at Grandmom’s. I also loved the whole trip.

I loved singing songs with my dad and brother that came on the radio. I loved watching out the window to see the giant cowboy at “Cow Town”. I remember one trip, some friends of mine from church came with us and they were in awe of the cow and horse farms we saw on the way from Atlantic City to Delaware. Lastly with regard to the trip, I loved the food. There were several great unique country places we would always stop and eat on the way up and back. We’d stop and get cheese steaks at Hi-Grade, stop and get ice cream at Tasty-Freeze, stop and get Grape Nee-Hi at the local Five and Dimes.

Besides the cows, the cars, the food, I got to know my dad in a way that made me so happy. We talked about the music he liked coming up and how Sam Cooke was to his generation what Michael Jackson was to mine. Over the years I got to meet his friends from highschool.

I could write a whole book about my life with my dad and my time in Wilmington , Delaware.

 The last time I was actually in the house where my father grew up, I was about 18 and senior in highschool. And no I did not have to be dragged, by then I had learned to appreciate my “pop.” I recall walking through the house and how quiet it was. I recall taking the walk from the house to the school where we played basket ball and thinking… “this seemed like a long walk when I was 8 but it’s just a few blocks.” The courts seemed smaller. At age 11 I had thought “what a big scary house” and at age 18 I thought “How in the world did they raise 12 kids in here?”

The last time I went to visit Harrington , Delaware I stood outside the house that now seemed average sized at best. My family no longer owned the property so I looked on from the street. Trying to see if I could recognize any of the furniture or the rugs, hoping no one would think I was a weirdo.

My grandmother, all of my uncles, even my dad is gone now.

I don’t think I will ever go back to Harrington , Delaware…at least physically. In my mind I visit much more often than I would have thought even at 18.

Trust me, spend time with your family and unplug. I believe that success is important but you will cherish the times when you seemed most uncomfortable and annoyed because you had each other…not facebook, twitter or instagram.  

Raymond Tyler and other motivational/live/heeling speakers will be giving short 5 minute talks and answering questions at FYI at The Little Wellness Art Center at 6pm on Monday January 13th.
come out and be motivated.